Why We Embrace Children in the Worship Service
The following is an excerpt from “Why We Embrace Children in Our Worship Service” by Chance and Mary Austin Faulkner.
At the start we should say that we consider this an open-handed issue, meaning that we don’t believe parents are necessarily in sin for sending their children to so-called “children’s church” or necessarily walking in God’s will by keeping them in the service. There is no key Bible verse that either side can hold up to show everyone God’s definitive word on the matter.
Rather, we have come to a conviction as a couple that we believe to be Biblical and best upholding God’s will for the family and the church. We are thankful to attend a church where, while different parents pursue different options for their families, the church leadership is committed to family-integrated worship.
We believe in the transforming power of the preached Word of God
Corporate worship is unique and has unique blessings. The preaching of the cross is the means by which those who are perishing would come to the light, and those who are in the light might continue to be transformed into the likeness of Christ.
We believe that God communicates in a way for all to understand
While children may not learn or reason in the exact same way as adults, this does not mean that even very young children cannot glean anything out of a sermon. Will a young child be able to comprehend everything the preacher says? Likely not.
We currently have three small children (ages 4, 2, and 1) who sit and worship in the service with us every week. Regularly at lunch time we discuss the sermon with our children—you’d be surprised how much they were actually listening, and the wonderful gospel conversations we have had.
Can there be a time for separate, age-appropriate learning? Absolutely. This is why in the past many churches had an adult and children’s Sunday school, which usually happened before the worship service.
But corporate worship is a unique experience. The preaching of the Word is not just for adults, but for all. As a family and a church, we don’t see the 40 minutes during the sermon as the one opportunity where our children must go get age-appropriate teaching; rather, we try to engage our children in Bible teaching at their level all week long. In daily family worship, we are able to teach our children catechisms, Bible verses, prayer, and singing.
We believe that children are not a distraction from true worship
We always need to be careful with how we describe and think about children. Children are presented as many things in God’s Word, but “distraction factories” is not one of them. They are people made in God’s image, and are just as much in need of the unique benefits of the preaching of God’s word as the rest of us.
For those of us with children, training them in the discipline and instruction of the Lord is one of our primary callings, and we believe that the ministry of the Word is an essential part of this calling.
Distractions from the Word must be taken seriously. But what exactly do we consider a distraction? By all means, if a child is screaming or causing the service to be disorderly and confused, they should be removed by their parents. But what else what do we consider distractions? Coughing, body odor, people who say amen, raise their hands in worship, get up to go to the bathroom, or anything that remotely causes our mind to wander for second?
We must admit that while the distractor has responsibility in love to mitigate their distractions, the listeners around them also have a responsibility to listen and focus. Many people can watch a sports game or be zoned out on their phones without even hearing the voice of the person next to them talking to them. For us to be overly distracted by a squirm or noise while listening to the Word of God tells us more about ourselves than about the children around us, who are still learning appropriate behaviour and adjusting their growing bodies to sitting for an hour. Every squirm and peep is a reminder to us that they are God’s gracious gift.
We believe that worshiping together takes priority over parental ease
More than just “getting space,” we prioritize the personal reading of the Word and prayer either in the morning or in the evenings when we can. That time alone with the Lord can be soul-filling and much needed.
But we have intentionally set aside Sunday mornings as a time to press into the responsibilities of raising our children in the Lord. It is the highlight of our week, not only as adults but as a family.
We love that our children get to experience that reality fully right next to us, by sharing it all with us—the fellowship, the singing, the prayers and call to confession, the preaching of the word, and observing our weekly communion. It is real life, it is messy, it is imperfect, it is grace.
A Positive View
Our point is not to argue that every parent must keep every child at all times in the entire service to be a faithful parent. Primarily, we would like to exhort parents and churchgoers to consider the present and long-term fruitfulness that can result from inviting our young children joyfully, with open arms, into our church services.
And we would like to encourage those families who are taking in the preaching of God’s Word together that your labors every Sunday are not in vain—they are proper worship fitting for our Lord who said, while addressing his disciples who found children a distraction, “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven” (Matt. 19:14).
At the start we should say that we consider this an open-handed issue, meaning that we don’t believe parents are necessarily in sin for sending their children to so-called “children’s church” or necessarily walking in God’s will by keeping them in the service. There is no key Bible verse that either side can hold up to show everyone God’s definitive word on the matter.
Rather, we have come to a conviction as a couple that we believe to be Biblical and best upholding God’s will for the family and the church. We are thankful to attend a church where, while different parents pursue different options for their families, the church leadership is committed to family-integrated worship.
We believe in the transforming power of the preached Word of God
Corporate worship is unique and has unique blessings. The preaching of the cross is the means by which those who are perishing would come to the light, and those who are in the light might continue to be transformed into the likeness of Christ.
We believe that God communicates in a way for all to understand
While children may not learn or reason in the exact same way as adults, this does not mean that even very young children cannot glean anything out of a sermon. Will a young child be able to comprehend everything the preacher says? Likely not.
We currently have three small children (ages 4, 2, and 1) who sit and worship in the service with us every week. Regularly at lunch time we discuss the sermon with our children—you’d be surprised how much they were actually listening, and the wonderful gospel conversations we have had.
Can there be a time for separate, age-appropriate learning? Absolutely. This is why in the past many churches had an adult and children’s Sunday school, which usually happened before the worship service.
But corporate worship is a unique experience. The preaching of the Word is not just for adults, but for all. As a family and a church, we don’t see the 40 minutes during the sermon as the one opportunity where our children must go get age-appropriate teaching; rather, we try to engage our children in Bible teaching at their level all week long. In daily family worship, we are able to teach our children catechisms, Bible verses, prayer, and singing.
We believe that children are not a distraction from true worship
We always need to be careful with how we describe and think about children. Children are presented as many things in God’s Word, but “distraction factories” is not one of them. They are people made in God’s image, and are just as much in need of the unique benefits of the preaching of God’s word as the rest of us.
For those of us with children, training them in the discipline and instruction of the Lord is one of our primary callings, and we believe that the ministry of the Word is an essential part of this calling.
Distractions from the Word must be taken seriously. But what exactly do we consider a distraction? By all means, if a child is screaming or causing the service to be disorderly and confused, they should be removed by their parents. But what else what do we consider distractions? Coughing, body odor, people who say amen, raise their hands in worship, get up to go to the bathroom, or anything that remotely causes our mind to wander for second?
We must admit that while the distractor has responsibility in love to mitigate their distractions, the listeners around them also have a responsibility to listen and focus. Many people can watch a sports game or be zoned out on their phones without even hearing the voice of the person next to them talking to them. For us to be overly distracted by a squirm or noise while listening to the Word of God tells us more about ourselves than about the children around us, who are still learning appropriate behaviour and adjusting their growing bodies to sitting for an hour. Every squirm and peep is a reminder to us that they are God’s gracious gift.
We believe that worshiping together takes priority over parental ease
More than just “getting space,” we prioritize the personal reading of the Word and prayer either in the morning or in the evenings when we can. That time alone with the Lord can be soul-filling and much needed.
But we have intentionally set aside Sunday mornings as a time to press into the responsibilities of raising our children in the Lord. It is the highlight of our week, not only as adults but as a family.
We love that our children get to experience that reality fully right next to us, by sharing it all with us—the fellowship, the singing, the prayers and call to confession, the preaching of the word, and observing our weekly communion. It is real life, it is messy, it is imperfect, it is grace.
A Positive View
Our point is not to argue that every parent must keep every child at all times in the entire service to be a faithful parent. Primarily, we would like to exhort parents and churchgoers to consider the present and long-term fruitfulness that can result from inviting our young children joyfully, with open arms, into our church services.
And we would like to encourage those families who are taking in the preaching of God’s Word together that your labors every Sunday are not in vain—they are proper worship fitting for our Lord who said, while addressing his disciples who found children a distraction, “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven” (Matt. 19:14).